Wednesday, February 29, 2012

All This Time

    I don't know what took me so long to become an advocate for children in need of rescue. I've been drumming my fingers on my maple desk to the tune of that question for the past few weeks.
    I'm 42.
    My life is maybe at least half over.
    I could have been making a difference a long time ago.
    I wish it had not taken me this long to find my way. Not that God is done with me, of course, for He has His hands full with the remaining repairs and upgrades that need to be done in my heart. Look out Home Depot.

    But I am finally breathing clean air.

    The velveteen rabbit in me has come to life....a direct result of God's unrelenting and loving pursuit of one broken, hard hearted girl. I can step outside of the fortress I've built, spread a blanket on the green grass and lie down for no other reason than to watch the white clouds drift by. I now say yes to God's love without sounding like a girl trying her best to give the "right" answer. And I am much more willing to trust Him and let Him take my hand and lead the way, instead of always frantically mapping out a "safer" route to where I think He wants me to go.
    I have spent a good bit of time anguishing over the years that were lost. For all the times I held back my tears, or silenced my own prayers. For all the moments I chose to be alone rather than relinquish the keys to my gated heart.                              
    But I find that when God wants to unveil yet another truth into being, He does it just like the dawning of a new day. From utter darkness all the way to a brand-new, bright shining day. Revelation. Understanding. Wow.....      

All this time
 From the first tear cry
To today's sunrise
And every single moment between
You were there
You were always there
It was You and I
You've been walking with me all this time

Ever since that day
it's been clear to me
That no matter what comes
You will never leave
I know You're for me
And You're restoring

Every heartache and failure
Every broken dream
You're the God who sees
The God who rescued me
This is my story
This is my story

I hear these people asking me
How do I know what I believe?
Well I'm not the same me
And I saw the proof I need
I felt Love I felt Your grace
You stole my heart that day